“Too broken,” “not enough,” and other lies from the devil.

            The stadium lights glared bright and strong in the darkness of the clear Arizona night.  Behind me, the bleachers were packed with fans cheering for the CFHS football team.  I stood on the sidelines with my cheer coach and the other JV cheerleaders as we watched the Varsity girls performing complicated stunts for their half-time routine.

They’re perfect, I thought to myself.  I will never be that good.

That night, after the game, I looked in the bathroom mirror and the only thing I saw was shame.

Not pretty enough.

Not skinny enough.

Not strong enough.

Not fast enough.

Not good enough.

Not enough.

Not enough.

Not enough.

From that moment on, I believed I would never be enough.

Years passed, and every time I looked in the mirror it was the same.  Not enough.  Not enough.  Not enough.

Finally, I came to another conclusion.  Not only was I not good enough, but I was also too messed up and too broken to be loved.  Day after day, those were the lies the devil threw at me.  But God’s Word has something different to say.

In Him you have been made complete (Colossians 2:10)

In God, there is nothing too broken to redeem.  In Him, there is nothing too empty to fill with His love.  His healing takes even the most broken parts of our lives and makes them into something more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

Isaiah 61 tells us that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and to free the prisoners.  He comforts those who mourn, He gives people beauty from their ashes, He repairs what has been ruined, and He turns people’s weariness into praise.

Not only that, but He uses former brokenness to turn us into oaks of righteousness that glorify Him.

As difficult as it can be to talk about my eating disorder, I know that it is worth it because through my brokenness, I can openly glorify God and His beautiful redemption in my life.

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners…to comfort all who mourn…giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting, so they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. (Isaiah 61)