I have a confession to make: Sometimes I hate Haiti

There.  I said it.  Now maybe I should explain.

I hate Haiti when I run out of cell phone minutes and can't find anyone to sell me more.

I hate Haiti when I can't sleep because it's so bright outside my window and I have to scrounge up all the drapes, sheets, towels, and shower curtains I can find to plaster my windows...and that's still not enough. All I want is to go to Target and get a legitimate set of drapes!

I hate Haiti when I want to buy a skirt but I can't get the price bartered down to a reasonable amount.

I hate Haiti when all I want is to have a normal conversation but I can't because I don't speak the language.

I hate Haiti when nobody tells me important times, dates, or changes and I'm completely out of the loop.

I hate Haiti when I have to crawl around a slanted rooftop to retrieve my freshly cleaned clothes (that are now dirty) because they were blown off the line by the wind.

I hate Haiti when everywhere I go I get stared at, pointed at, and yelled at.  News flash: my name is not Blan ("White").  My name is not Baby, Sexy, or Hey You, and it's definitely not that horrible kissing sound you make.

So there you have it.  A VERY abridged list of a few times when I hate Haiti (trust me, I could go on and on).  And after some of the things that have happened this week, I kind of want to be stubborn and end this blog post here, after having talked only about reasons I hate Haiti.

...But if I'm going to list reasons I hate Haiti, I suppose I should list a few reasons I love Haiti too.  Well, I gave you 7 reasons I hate Haiti...I think I'll give you a few more reasons I love Haiti.  Here are 12:

Christella, Bensly, Alix, Richardly, Leonard, Messy, Carly, Mackendly, Jessica, Midlan, Widline, Stevenson

And trust me, I could go on and on and on.

My Own Personal Parables

     I'm insecure.
     As a matter of fact, I'm one of the most insecure people I know.
     Sometimes I feel like I'm insecure about everything - from the way I look to the way I act to the way I walk.
     Yes...the way I walk
     Those who know me well know that I often say I walk like a goofy penguin.

     And then today I was watching 7-year-old Christella run.  It's so cute! She runs with her feet flying in every direction.  It makes me smile - I really just love it!
     As I was thinking about how much this simple act makes me smile, I started thinking...  What if Christella were insecure about the way she runs?  What if she were so insecure that she decided not to run?  Oh the things she would miss out on!  Tag, soccer, hide-and-seek, catching butterflies, the feel of the wind in her face, the feel of carefree freedom.
     In these thoughts, God spoke to me about how He sees me - the daughter that He created in His own image.  When He sees me - the way I look, the way I act, the way I walk - He falls in love with me over and over again.  He finds joy in those things.  The same things I am so desperately insecure about.

     How many wonderful blessings have I missed out on because of my crippling insecurities?  How many times has God said to me, "Go. Enjoy. Do." and I've held back because I was insecure?

     I love the way God uses my students as my own personal parables.  I feel blessed that I get to see myself through His eyes when I look at my children.

     The conclusion of this particular parable?
     Let it go.  Let go of all the insecurities that hold you back from My blessings.  Go.  Enjoy.  Do.  Run with your feet flying in every direction.  And take pride in it.  Because I love it when you do.