Haiti is expensive, and it's got nothing to do with money

What I mean is that Haiti costs a lot.  Haiti costs…

…My comfort

I can’t say I particularly enjoy bucket showers, unreliable power (if any), legs covered in bug bites, and a constant sunburn.

…My sanity

Trying to teach, barter, and generally communicate in Haitian Creole on a daily basis would drive anyone crazy at times.

#cabbage

…My looks

I know that true beauty is a gentle and quiet spirit.  But as a woman, I think I’m allowed to say that no-makeup and frizzy hair don’t exactly say physically attractive.

…My love life

Not that I have one.  But sometimes I can’t help but think…What guy can possibly handle living in Haiti for the rest of his life??  ((It’s not true of course.  If God calls me to live in Haiti, He will call my future husband to live there, too.  But I still think about it.))

But the thing about following God’s call is that it’s worth it.  When I go to Haiti, and I dance with Janide, and I listen to Rit read, and I get kisses from Laisa, and I play hopscotch with Lovna, I know it’s worth it.

And even though I have to give up my comfort, my sanity, my looks, and my love life, I don’t mind.  Because there’s no better place to be than in the center of God’s will.

I want to live like Hermione

     Those of you who aren't into Harry Potter, just bear with me.

     When we first meet Hermione, all we see are "books and cleverness."  She is devoted to her school work and dedicated to learning.  But there's so much more to Hermione than that.
     One of my favorite things about Hermione is that she is a warrior.

     Hermione takes what she knows, what she's learned, and what she believes and uses it to fight for truth.
     She isn't afraid to go into battle.  She is devoted to others and dedicated to protecting them.  She loves with her whole heart and sacrifices her own safety and happiness for others.

     She's not flawless.  There are insecurities and doubts beneath that curly blond hair.  That's what makes her human.  That's what makes her real.  Like in the Forest of Dean...

     Goodness knows I have insecurities and doubts.  Sometimes I just want to stay where I am.  Settle down and grow old in the comfort of safety and certainty.  But that's not what God calls me to do.

     He calls me to be a warrior.

     He calls me to be devoted to Him and to others and He calls me to be dedicated to fighting for Truth.
     God has already proclaimed victory over sin and death, but Satan, the Voldemort of this world, is still at large.  Just as Hermione rose to the occasion so many times, ready to fight evil in the name of truth and love, I am rising to the occasion.  I am ready to make sacrifices in order to bring God's truth to the people I love in Haiti, who are still under Satan's influence.  I am ready to fight for them.

     That's why I want to live like Hermione.

What is wisdom?

Wisdom.  That word keeps popping up.  But what is wisdom?
According to SPLASH, our Wednesday night children's program, wisdom is knowing what God wants you to do and doing it. Easier said than done.

I was reading a children's book to my kindergartner today.  It is an African tale of a rabbit, Zomo, who goes to Sky God and asks for wisdom.  But when Sky God replies, he says that wisdom is not something to be given away at will.  No, Zomo must earn wisdom by accomplishing 3 impossible tasks.

How blessed we are that our God - the one true God of the universe - is not like the fictional god in this story.  Our God says that "if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him" (James 1:5)

Wow! All we have to do is ask!

Today, I am thanking God for the wisdom He has granted me in my journey toward Haiti.  Just a week ago, it seemed as though things were falling apart.  I did not have nearly as much financial support as I had thought and I wondered if I would be funded any time in the near future.  There was disappointment, yes, but more troubling was the fact that I didn't know what to do from there.  I had made all of my plans under the assumption that I would be fully funded by Christmas.  I had planned on moving home, finishing up everything that needed to be done before leaving, and then around the end of January moving to Haiti.  But without the support...what was I to do?

It's hard to know what it is that God wants you to do.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Erin, I want you to buy a plane ticket to Haiti on January __."  No, that would make life far too easy. Instead God tells us to ask for wisdom with a faith that believes He will give it.  And He does.

I now have peace about my decision to move home and continue to pursue my goal of leaving at the end of January.  I'm trusting His timing and choosing to follow His path (uncertain though it may be).  And I know that He will take care of the rest.

Not a missionary

     I went to "missionary training school."  I'm considered an official church missionary.  When I told one woman about my work in Haiti, she excitedly turned to her husband and exclaimed, "Erin is going to be a missionary!"
     But I'm not.
     I'm not a missionary and I don't want to be.
     Here in America, I'm a teacher.  My life is dedicated to loving children for Christ.  I help kids with homework, teach dance, and tell people what Jesus did for them on the cross.
     In Haiti, I'll be a teacher.  My life will be dedicated to loving children for Christ.  I will help kids with homework, teach dance, and tell people what Jesus did for them on the cross.
     But I won't be a missionary.  I'll just be me.

Messy Obedience

     Messy obedience.
     I love that phrase.
     Messy obedience is the realization that I cannot just sit around and wait until I see the big picture before I act on what God has for me.  It's the understanding that I'm going to make mistakes...and that's okay.  It's the commitment to follow Christ even when I don't know what I'm doing.  It's hearing the voice of the Shepherd and pursuing it, regardless of how much I know...or don't know.  It's looking back on the things I've done and choosing to not regret, because every step - though messy and uncertain - was taken in faith.  And it brought me to here - exactly where God wants me
     God never promised that it would be easy or clean, but He did promise that it would be worth it.
     And it always is.

Diary Entries from Haiti

Diary Entries from Haiti

October 2, 2013
No power.
No running water.
No problem.

October 3, 2013
I'm pretty sure this was the best birthday in the history of incredible birthdays.  Everything ~ from my brothers asking me to pray for them, to the impromptu dance party, to the 10 kids running out to greet me when I got home, to lying in the front courtyard looking at the glittering stars ~ was perfect.

October 4, 2013
Forget fancy gyms with nice machines, air conditioners, and personal TVs.  In Haiti, I have a different kind of workout.
Back workout? I draw water from a well.
Biceps and triceps workout? I carry gallons of water on my head.
Cardio workout? I hike through rocky, twisting trails over a mountain to visit friend and family.  While carrying large fruit.

October 6, 2013
I love my life in Haiti.

I love Gildine's laugh
I love Ti-Stevenson's piglet noises.
I love Janide's wide yet sassy smile that perfectly matches her personality.
I love Rit's sweet, gentle smile that perfectly matches her personality.
I love the tiny kisses Laisa drops on my cheek 5 at a time.
I love sitting in the dirt playing cards.
I love passing around my Kreyol Bible Story Book and letting the kids take turns reading it.
I love dancing to no music.
I love having 3 kids sit on my lap at the same time.
I love drawing water from the well.
I love walking through the streets and greeting everyone with a cheery 'bonswa.'
I love speaking Kreyol.
I love braiding Haitian hair.
I love being the hands and feet of Jesus to kids who have nothing except Him.

October 10, 2013
Hung out in kindergarten today.  Explained directions, taught kids to write letters, helped them write their names, tied their shoes, sharpened pencils, pushed kids on swings.  Yeah...pretty much did what I love.  I think I've found my place here in Cap-Haitien.  It's a good feeling.

Best 2 weeks of my life

My two weeks in Haiti were literally the best two weeks of my life...and I'm not exaggerating! Here are the highlights:

St. Louis du Nord

Pure bliss.

*Playing Uno every day.
*Spontaneous dance parties.
*My Haitian brothers asking me to pray for them.
*Drawing water from the well and carrying it back on my head.
*Learning to "penyen" (braid Haitian hair)
*Lying in the front courtyard, watching the stars.

**Seeing Rit smile, hearing Gildine laugh, holding Janide while we watched the rain, catching Laisa in a running hug**

After over a year, I found my heart right where I left it.

Cap-Haitien (Kids Alive International)

So many new things!

*Meeting my students...seeing their faces, hearing them laugh, watching them run and play, pushing them on the swings, helping them tie their shoes.
*Discussing my job description with the school Director...I will be teaching Kindergarten!!
*Being asked to start a dance program after school!! ((Talk about confirmation of where God wants me!))
*Feeling many of my uncertainties slip away as I fell in love with these kids:

Jehovah Jireh. God provides.

     This weekend, I hosted a large spaghetti dinner to raise support for Haiti.  I was completely blown away by God's provision and by the love and support of my church family.

     Prior to Saturday night, I spent some time reading through the passages where Jesus multiplies a few fish and a little bread to feed thousands.  I truly felt like He did the same this weekend!  With a guest list of 55 plus an estimated 20 volunteers, I planned on cooking for 90.
     Well over 100 people showed up!
     By the time I found out that we were running out of food, one of my volunteers was already back from the store with more supplies!
     I know that Jesus' disciples didn't run to the grocery store when they needed to feed thousands, but Jesus provided food both then and on Saturday night at my spaghetti dinner.

Jehovah Jireh.  God provides.

     I had the most incredible team of volunteers that took care of absolutely everything for me so that I could spend time with my guests.  I have no idea what problems came up during the event because my volunteers were on top of things the entire time.  After the event, I barely had time to blink and everything was cleaned up.

Jehovah Jireh.  God provides.

     As I look ahead to the many things that I have yet to do and the money I have yet to raise, I must confess that I am overwhelmed and confused.  But in a good way.  In a way that makes me depend completely on God.  In a way that makes me call on His name:

Jehovah Jireh.  God provides. 

When I close my eyes, I can smell the dust from the street in St Louis du Nord. I can hear high-pitched voices calling my name in heavy Haitian accents "Ayerleen! Ayerleen!" I can see big brown eyes looking up at me from small ebony faces. I can taste fresh mangoes that Mirlouse bought just for me. I can feel the stroke of tiny hands rubbing my arms, fascinated by my white skin.

As I count down the days until I set foot in Haiti again (37), I am filled with longing and desire.  One of my friends described this way: "You're heart's already in Haiti.  You just need to be reunited with it.  And you won't be whole until you are."

On September 28, I will head to Haiti for 2 weeks.
In case you're wondering, here's the plan:
~Fly into Port au Prince
~Take a bus to St Louis du Nord
~Visit some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.  Spend time with the kids that changed my life.  And enjoy my 23rd birthday!! (I couldn't ask for a better birthday present!)
~Travel to Cap-Haitien to meet my new students, see the Kids Alive School and Children's Village, and tour my future home.
~Back to the US on October 11.

I wish it could be longer than 2 weeks, but let's be honest, I'll take what I can get!

Here's what you can be praying for:
~I'm hosting 2 events to raise  support and to share my heart for Haiti with my friends and family.  Pray that planning and execution of these events would go smoothly.
~Safe travels.
~That it would be a trip of encouragement for me to remind me that my dream is coming true, even though it doesn't always feel like it will ever happen.

Thank you for your prayers!